So I know some of you know but I just wanna be open and say I lost a lot of weight last year from being anorexic and I was doing well while I was pregnant but after I had the miscarriage in January I fell back into my old habit of " Trying my best to eat less. "
Since about a month ago I've been eating more real foods not just snacks and desserts and I'm fighting harder to not listen to my stupid thoughts like " No, cut out the bread, rice, pasta, little less, you don't need it, you don't deserve it, you'll regret that you ate later, you are spoiled and greedy if you eat more, go do something to distract yourself from food etc.
And when I keep listening to these lies I start to believe them! " Oh yeah, I actually don't want another piece of bread, another chicken, another bite, I'm full. I like to feel light and stay active so I don't want to eat more cause I won't be able to run. "
All these lies after lies. I've lied to my husband multiple times about food too. I only had one toast but I'll tell him I had two. I'm supposed to be the wife he can trust like the Proverbs 31 wife and how can he trust me when I'm lying to him? " It's not a big deal, it's just about food. " my mind tells me. But IT IS A BIG DEAL! Lying is sin!!
I stopped lying to him about food. Sometimes I know he is disappointed at my meals but it's way better than lying.
I listen to audio Bible pretty much all day. ( sometimes Christian podcasts for wives and mothers for fun! ) Planting and watering the truth in my mind instead of listening to lies. I'm guarding my mind, my heart and my soul with God's words and Christ's love from lies.
I still have moments that I struggle. I want to listen to the lies. I feel tempted. But that's not gonna do any good to me, to my husband and it won't give any glory to God and that's not what I want and that's not how I want to live my life that God graciously gave me.
I found this girl on YouTube last year and I watched some of her recovery videos but I gave up cause I thought " I can't do what she's doing, I don't want to do what she's doing. "
But this morning I just felt like checking out her page again and I watched some of her recent videos.
I was really encouraged by her honesty more than seeing what she eats.
Women don't talk about these things openly nor do I do and it's easy for me to feel like " I'm the one with the issue and everyone is against me cause they don't like how I look and eat. "
I believe TRUST and OBEY is the key. When we trust and obey God, when I trust and listen to my husband's advice and act on it, I feel pure joy.
Trust and Obey is an act of love.
~ Walk in obedience to all that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess.
~ Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.”
~ Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.
Kahoru Aliisa Barrett
Kahoru Aliisa Barrett.
Half Japanese, half Australian. Grew up in Japan most of my life and lived on the Gold Coast, AUS for few years.
Blessed with 11 younger brothers and sisters.
Married to a wonderful godly man and living in the pretty woods of Tennessee, USA!
Love baking, Eating desserts, Mexican food, Swimming, Exploring nature, Hiking, Biking, Cross stitching, Reading novels, Photography.
Currently obsessed with trying out new dairy free products / making dairy free meals and desserts!